Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Bikini Perfect...

So, how does one get a perfect beach body in minimal time?? Is it a case of opting for all-in-ones instead?? Something i am not adverse to as they do hide a multitude of sins and can be ever so slightly more flattering than a two piece!! Hmmm...does leave you with a full white middle, and not that i ever show the midriff but i do like a tan wherever i can get one...(take note people i do not do 'topless', christ ive not done that kinda naked since the twentieth day of August '83! Yes, the day i entered the world, naked to the core in a room filled with more than just my mother!!!)
Moving swiftly on...
I would however love my skin to match that day i came to life. Smooth, soft, minus blemishes and any hint of cellulite! So, i shall be drinking my eight pints of water a day, helps with the condition of skin, dark circles and of course the dreaded cellulite! No one wants to be caking concealer around the eyes for a day at the beach. Why hello panda eyes!!! This means that my five-a-day will most certainly be introduced into the diet. Do you reckon that if i multiply and eat ten a day that will make up for not eating it in the recent past?? Maybe not!!! And what about chocolate orange?? Oh and Rose wine?? Gotta have some kind of grape in there surely?? Or is that red?? Maybe i should look into this more thoroughly!
Anyway, i digress. First step to the smooth skin...exfoliate girlies. Scrub, scrub, scrub away, cleanse, tone and moisturise. Oooh and my latest is to apply baby oil all over the body BEFORE getting in the shower. This leaves skin feeling quite literally like silk. Follow this every day and you will have skin to die for. Just like one of those perfect (airbrushed) supermodels in the bikini shot. No airbrushing for us ladies, no, no!! We do it all au naturale!!!
Next step is to moisturise daily. I choose to do it after every shower, when you have also exfoliated. (Or at least you should have!) Skin will feel revitalised and nourished. Some folk choose to apply tan before they go away so they're not like Casper on the beach. However, some of these will prevent tanning and ain't gonna look too pretty mixed in with suncream, sand and a bit of chlorine. I would prepare to turn a little green...not the best look i have to say! But each to their own!!!
If you've hit the gym everyday but to no avail then worry not, there are so many creams around these days that will give you the same look! And will save you from sweating, sorry perspiring, infront of dozens of men who are busy checking out the size of their biceps whilst pretending to life weights!! (Idiots!!!) Rodial and Bliss Spa are the best i have found. They have creams for bust firming, stomach, thigh! Oooh loads, you seriously need to check them out.
Plus girls, i think you really need to check out the swimsuit you're going to wear! Don't buy bikini bottoms too small that will give you ye olde muffin top! Fashion faux pas to the extreme. Try before you buy is the way forward. I am not a fan of changing rooms, what is with shops these days that choose lights to accentuate all the bits you hate about yourself??? They really need to re-think this! But when buying bikins, you have to force yourself to get in there and just avoid all mirrors until you are safe in the comfort of your own room!


Everything you could ever want to cure the look of cellulite. Scrubs and props to stimulate circulation and creams to soothe the skin! Pick one up for approx. £30! Total bargain!!


Rodial Boob-Job (approx. £120-£150) Slightly expensive i know, however, far cheaper than an actual boob job and far healthier at the same time. I have known girls go up a cup size in about four weeks. You still have time girlies, get online and get purchasing!


Tone up those sides with Bliss 'Love Handler'. Skin firming gel for the all important midriff! And here is why we love it
•stimulates skin surface for improved firmness
•energy releasing amino acids firm and burn with creatine
•caffeine stays active for up to 8 hours!

Studies have shown trimmer waists in only two weeks!! WOW!!!

So, just a couple of items i will be investing in pretty sharpish. And the good thing is you can do all this from the comfort of your own home or if you want to get ultra-fit, you can take a walk to the shops for it...yeah, maybe i'll just take the car! There's a cream for everything these days, there has to be one for keeping fit somewhere...hello my old friend Google!!!Xxx

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