A hungover morning with my friends always leads us to setting the world to rights, confessions, secrets ousted...one of us is bound to shed a few tears!!! Anyone who knows me will be well aware that i am a cryer, click your fingers ask me to cry and i'm there! However, i passed the baton on to my friend today and instead we were handing her the tissues. Then a sudden realisation hit, words unsaid for five years hung in the air and tears came a-calling.
No one can take charge of emotion and no one can ever predict a reaction. All you can do is try and understand it. For a long time i have held back and never really given my all to anyone, other than to those you know will never let you down. But then people come along and throw this into complete disarray. Most unfortunate and most unexpected.
I have learn't that trying to fight things is completely impossible, the whole point in life is to move forward, learn from your experiences and grow as a result! And London for me was where i grew the most. I learned how to deal with situations and how to let go. One of the hardest things i had to do by far.
I used to be one of these that didn't live a life, just a mere existence. Going from day to day and not really knowing how you're getting there, living and breathing your job and not having time (or indeed making time!) for people who could potentially enhance your life. Even i realised that this wasn't what i wanted even though letting people in can be hard. Waiting for the hurt, waiting for the end is pointless. Enjoying every moment is the key to it and making the most of every person and every opportunity. Sometimes people come along and catch you off guard. Falling for someone wasn't something i had forseen and not something i would change either, every moment and situation makes you who you are! Once upon a time i would have reacted to this completely differently, but life is uncertain and all you can do is take it in your stride.
So i dried the tears, said those fateful words aloud and recalled my new mantra 'Everything happens for a reason!' Just as life is uncertain, so is love, so is where you may find yourself in a months time, a years time. All you can do is learn to live life in the best way, learn from your mistakes and make the most of every person, opportunity and experience. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet, if you don't at least try then you'll never know...!!!Xxx